Another type of verbal abuse is forgetting. While it is perfectly normal for everyone to forget things occasionally, a verbal abuser will "forget" things consistently.
Verbal abusers may "forget" incidents that were upsetting to his or her partner, arguments, and discussions. He or she may also "forget" important commitments, dates, and promises he or she made to his or her partner.
Showing posts with label relationship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationship. Show all posts
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Verbal Abuse - Name Calling
Name calling is another form of verbal abuse. Name calling is the easiest type of verbal abuse to identify. Anytime your partner calls you a name, he or she is being verbally abusive.
This weekend I will examine the consequences of verbal abuse.
This weekend I will examine the consequences of verbal abuse.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Dr. Phil Schedule Feb. 25-29, 2008
This week's Dr. Phil's shows are as follows:
Monday: Deadly Thin - Dr. Phil talks with a woman who is struggling with Anorexia and Bulimia. Aimee is only 60 pounds, but she still believes she's fat. Dr. Phil also talks with a former guest who has an inspiring story of recovery.
Tuesday: Alter Egos - Dr. Phil talks to guests who lead double lives.
Wednesday: Internet Cheats - Tameka wants her fiance to take down his MySpace profiles because he has already cheated on her twice with them. Her fiance says he needs the profiles to promote his business. Find out what happens when Dr. Phil asks the fiance to take a lie detector test.
Thursday: Still Choosing the Crown - The guests on this show are wives and mothers, but still want to compete in pageants. Dr. Phil has some words of advice for a woman who is pregnant with her seventh child and still competing in pageants.
Friday: Follow-ups - Dr. Phil brings back some of his most popular guests for follow-ups.
Monday: Deadly Thin - Dr. Phil talks with a woman who is struggling with Anorexia and Bulimia. Aimee is only 60 pounds, but she still believes she's fat. Dr. Phil also talks with a former guest who has an inspiring story of recovery.
Tuesday: Alter Egos - Dr. Phil talks to guests who lead double lives.
Wednesday: Internet Cheats - Tameka wants her fiance to take down his MySpace profiles because he has already cheated on her twice with them. Her fiance says he needs the profiles to promote his business. Find out what happens when Dr. Phil asks the fiance to take a lie detector test.
Thursday: Still Choosing the Crown - The guests on this show are wives and mothers, but still want to compete in pageants. Dr. Phil has some words of advice for a woman who is pregnant with her seventh child and still competing in pageants.
Friday: Follow-ups - Dr. Phil brings back some of his most popular guests for follow-ups.
Monday, February 18, 2008
Dr. Phil Show Schedule Feb. 18-22, 2008
This week's Dr. Phil schedule is as follows. I plan to have a more substantial post either tomorrow or Tuesday!
Monday - Sober Up or Else - Two daughters try to get their mother, a long time alcoholic, to sober up once and for all. They say if she refuses to get clean, they will walk away from her forever.
Tuesday - Rules of Engagement Part 2 - Four engaged couples are living in the Dr. Phil house to work on their relationships. Dr. Phil continues to work with the couple through exercises and counsel.
Wednesday - Bully Husband - Dr. Phile talks with a woman who suffers mental abuse at the hands of her husband. She says she stays with him because she loves him and for the sake of her two children. Can Dr. Phil help this family?
Thursday - Family Court Battles - A mother and daughter are at war with one another and are battling it out with one another in court. Dr. Phil talks with this mother and daughter to try to find out the heart of the matter.
Friday - Hell Weddings - Dr. Phil talks to couples who had weddings go bad.
Monday - Sober Up or Else - Two daughters try to get their mother, a long time alcoholic, to sober up once and for all. They say if she refuses to get clean, they will walk away from her forever.
Tuesday - Rules of Engagement Part 2 - Four engaged couples are living in the Dr. Phil house to work on their relationships. Dr. Phil continues to work with the couple through exercises and counsel.
Wednesday - Bully Husband - Dr. Phile talks with a woman who suffers mental abuse at the hands of her husband. She says she stays with him because she loves him and for the sake of her two children. Can Dr. Phil help this family?
Thursday - Family Court Battles - A mother and daughter are at war with one another and are battling it out with one another in court. Dr. Phil talks with this mother and daughter to try to find out the heart of the matter.
Friday - Hell Weddings - Dr. Phil talks to couples who had weddings go bad.
Monday, February 4, 2008
Dr. Phil Shows This Week - Relationships, Addiction, and Valentine's Day
I promise a more substantial entry is on its way! Thank you for continuing to check out this blog!
I found this week's Dr. Phil shows to be interesting and pertinent to the discussion of verbal abuse and relationships in this blog, as of late.
Here's this week's Dr. Phil show schedule:
Monday - Dirty Little Secrets - This show is about how secrets can affect marriages in deep, lasting ways.
Tuesday - The Dr. Phil House - Rules of Engagement - Dr. Phil works with four couples who are engaged and plan on getting married. Each couple has many issues they need to work out. Issues these couples have include verbal, emotional, and physical abuse, intimidation, and commitment.
Wednesday - Pill Popping Twins - This show is part 1 of a 2-part series. Dr. Phil talks with two twin sisters who have a pill-popping addiction. These sisters have managed to ruin many aspects of their lives.
Thursday - Pill Popping Twins Part 2 - Dr. Phil continues to talk to these sisters about how their addiction has affected their lives, encourages them to face their problem and seek help for it, and talks with the twins' parents about their involvement in the problem.
Friday - My Worst Valentine - Dr. Phil and Robin give tips to men on how to be romantic to their wives on Valentine's Day. Robin also works with two people who want makeovers for Valentine's Day. Robin also discusses how to treat yourself well on Valentine's Day if you will be spending it alone.
Please let me know if you like this kind of post, and I'll do more of them if you do!
I found this week's Dr. Phil shows to be interesting and pertinent to the discussion of verbal abuse and relationships in this blog, as of late.
Here's this week's Dr. Phil show schedule:
Monday - Dirty Little Secrets - This show is about how secrets can affect marriages in deep, lasting ways.
Tuesday - The Dr. Phil House - Rules of Engagement - Dr. Phil works with four couples who are engaged and plan on getting married. Each couple has many issues they need to work out. Issues these couples have include verbal, emotional, and physical abuse, intimidation, and commitment.
Wednesday - Pill Popping Twins - This show is part 1 of a 2-part series. Dr. Phil talks with two twin sisters who have a pill-popping addiction. These sisters have managed to ruin many aspects of their lives.
Thursday - Pill Popping Twins Part 2 - Dr. Phil continues to talk to these sisters about how their addiction has affected their lives, encourages them to face their problem and seek help for it, and talks with the twins' parents about their involvement in the problem.
Friday - My Worst Valentine - Dr. Phil and Robin give tips to men on how to be romantic to their wives on Valentine's Day. Robin also works with two people who want makeovers for Valentine's Day. Robin also discusses how to treat yourself well on Valentine's Day if you will be spending it alone.
Please let me know if you like this kind of post, and I'll do more of them if you do!
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Verbal Abuse - Denial
According to Patricia Evans, denial is another form of verbal abuse. Denial occurs when the abuser outright denies the partner's reality and experiences.
Some examples of statements that deny a partner's experience and/or reality are:
"We never had that conversation."
"That never happened."
"I never said that."
"You're making all of that up."
Although the abuser knows these things have occurred, he or she tells his or her partner they did not in order to make him or her doubt one's experiences and reality.
For blogging services, please contact me at: miniemedia@gmail.com.
Some examples of statements that deny a partner's experience and/or reality are:
"We never had that conversation."
"That never happened."
"I never said that."
"You're making all of that up."
Although the abuser knows these things have occurred, he or she tells his or her partner they did not in order to make him or her doubt one's experiences and reality.
For blogging services, please contact me at: miniemedia@gmail.com.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Verbal Abuse - Countering
Countering is a form of verbal abuse in which an abuser tries to dominate or control his or her partner and/or his or her partner’s reality, experiences, and/or feelings, according to Patricia Evans.
Evans remarks in her book The Verbally Abusive Relationship that when an abuser constantly counters his or her partner, the partner cannot truly know what the abuser thinks or feels.
Countering is a tactic in which an abuser will tell his or her partner that he or she is wrong – that one’s reality, feelings, perceptions, and thoughts – are wrong.
Here are some examples of countering.
Example 1:
Partner: I think the acting in that movie was done really well.
Abuser: How can you say that? The acting was horrible!
Example 2:
Abuser: That doctor didn’t know what he was talking about. I wonder if he even went to medical school.
Partner: You didn’t think he knew what he was talking about? I actually thought he seemed very intelligent about his subject matter.
Abuser: You’re wrong.
For blogging services, please contact me at: miniemedia@blogspot.com
Evans remarks in her book The Verbally Abusive Relationship that when an abuser constantly counters his or her partner, the partner cannot truly know what the abuser thinks or feels.
Countering is a tactic in which an abuser will tell his or her partner that he or she is wrong – that one’s reality, feelings, perceptions, and thoughts – are wrong.
Here are some examples of countering.
Example 1:
Partner: I think the acting in that movie was done really well.
Abuser: How can you say that? The acting was horrible!
Example 2:
Abuser: That doctor didn’t know what he was talking about. I wonder if he even went to medical school.
Partner: You didn’t think he knew what he was talking about? I actually thought he seemed very intelligent about his subject matter.
Abuser: You’re wrong.
For blogging services, please contact me at: miniemedia@blogspot.com
Monday, July 16, 2007
Verbal Abuse Disguised as Jokes
Trigger warning: This post contains details of verbal abusive situations.
Verbal abuse is often disguised by jokes by the perpetrator. These "jokes" are cutting, getting to the partner's core. They often demean the partner's femininity or abilities.
Some examples are:
~Boy, are you easily entertained.
~What else can you expect from a woman?
~You couldn't find your head if it weren't attached.
When/if you tell your partner that you do not think his "jokes" are funny, he may snap at you or tell you that you are too sensitive or that you cannot take a joke.
Do not think there is anything wrong with your sense of humor. These "jokes" are not funny, they are abusive.
Verbal abuse is often disguised by jokes by the perpetrator. These "jokes" are cutting, getting to the partner's core. They often demean the partner's femininity or abilities.
Some examples are:
~Boy, are you easily entertained.
~What else can you expect from a woman?
~You couldn't find your head if it weren't attached.
When/if you tell your partner that you do not think his "jokes" are funny, he may snap at you or tell you that you are too sensitive or that you cannot take a joke.
Do not think there is anything wrong with your sense of humor. These "jokes" are not funny, they are abusive.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Verbal Abuse - Undermining
Trigger warning: This post contains details of the things verbal abusers may say and do. This post may trigger memories of verbal abuse.
Underming is a tactic verbal abusers utilize to dampen his partner's enthusiasm, happiness, or excitement.
Undermining includes anything a partner uses to dampen your excitement. Some examples might include the following phrases:
-Who cares?
-That's stupid.
-Nobody asked you.
-Who asked for your opinion?
-Who are you trying to impress?
-What makes you think you're so smart?
-You'll never make it.
-It's over your head.
In her book, The Verbally Abusive Relationship, Patricia Evans even describes a situation in which every time one woman sat down to study, her partner took on a very concerned look and asked if she was OK. Over time, the woman became very anxious about studying, something she had originally been very enthusiastic about.
When you are constantly undermined, the verbal abuser tears at your self-esteem by making you feel as if your opinions, thoughts, and feelings don't matter.
Underming is a tactic verbal abusers utilize to dampen his partner's enthusiasm, happiness, or excitement.
Undermining includes anything a partner uses to dampen your excitement. Some examples might include the following phrases:
-Who cares?
-That's stupid.
-Nobody asked you.
-Who asked for your opinion?
-Who are you trying to impress?
-What makes you think you're so smart?
-You'll never make it.
-It's over your head.
In her book, The Verbally Abusive Relationship, Patricia Evans even describes a situation in which every time one woman sat down to study, her partner took on a very concerned look and asked if she was OK. Over time, the woman became very anxious about studying, something she had originally been very enthusiastic about.
When you are constantly undermined, the verbal abuser tears at your self-esteem by making you feel as if your opinions, thoughts, and feelings don't matter.
Friday, July 6, 2007
Verbal Abuse: Withholding
Trigger warning: This entry contains detailed description of verbally abusive behavior.
Verbal abuse, unlike physical abuse, can be overt or covert. It isn't always obvious to the victim/survivor or her loved ones that she is being abused.
14 categories constitute verbal abuse, one of which is withholding.
Withholding occurs when one partner withholds affection, information, thoughts, and feelings from his partner. When one person in a relationship withholds, intimacy cannot be created. Survivors of verbal abuse who have experienced withholding say they do not know what they did "wrong" to be ignored.
The truth is, there is absolutely nothing you can do to please your abuser to get him to quit withholding from you. Withholding, like all other abusive behaviors is about power and control.
Verbal abuse, unlike physical abuse, can be overt or covert. It isn't always obvious to the victim/survivor or her loved ones that she is being abused.
14 categories constitute verbal abuse, one of which is withholding.
Withholding occurs when one partner withholds affection, information, thoughts, and feelings from his partner. When one person in a relationship withholds, intimacy cannot be created. Survivors of verbal abuse who have experienced withholding say they do not know what they did "wrong" to be ignored.
Some examples of withholding might include:
-a partner withholding affection from you until you do what he wants you to do.
-refusing to give you information about where he is going, when he is coming back, about financial resources, and other forms of information.
-withholding material resources - in marriage, especially, withholding a promised food budget, bill payments, etc.
-refusing to answer questions, make eye contact, etc.
-withholding affection and comfort when you need it.
-ignoring you.
Over time, withholding damages self-esteem. The mistake many survivors of verbal abuse make, including myself, is that they try to "fix" the problem. They desperately try to figure out how to make the abuser happy so that he will quit withholding.
The truth is, there is absolutely nothing you can do to please your abuser to get him to quit withholding from you. Withholding, like all other abusive behaviors is about power and control.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
