Verbal Abuse Disguised as Jokes

Trigger warning: This post contains details of verbal abusive situations.

Verbal abuse is often disguised by jokes by the perpetrator. These "jokes" are cutting, getting to the partner's core. They often demean the partner's femininity or abilities.

Some examples are:
~Boy, are you easily entertained.
~What else can you expect from a woman?
~You couldn't find your head if it weren't attached.

When/if you tell your partner that you do not think his "jokes" are funny, he may snap at you or tell you that you are too sensitive or that you cannot take a joke.

Do not think there is anything wrong with your sense of humor. These "jokes" are not funny, they are abusive.

Verbal Abuse - Undermining

Trigger warning: This post contains details of the things verbal abusers may say and do. This post may trigger memories of verbal abuse.

Underming is a tactic verbal abusers utilize to dampen his partner's enthusiasm, happiness, or excitement.

Undermining includes anything a partner uses to dampen your excitement. Some examples might include the following phrases:
-Who cares?
-That's stupid.
-Nobody asked you.
-Who asked for your opinion?
-Who are you trying to impress?
-What makes you think you're so smart?
-You'll never make it.
-It's over your head.

In her book, The Verbally Abusive Relationship, Patricia Evans even describes a situation in which every time one woman sat down to study, her partner took on a very concerned look and asked if she was OK. Over time, the woman became very anxious about studying, something she had originally been very enthusiastic about.

When you are constantly undermined, the verbal abuser tears at your self-esteem by making you feel as if your opinions, thoughts, and feelings don't matter.