Verbal Abuse - Trivializing

Trivializing is where an abusive partner makes light of his or her partner's accomplishments or achievements. Oftentimes, the partner of an abuser may not feel he or she is communicating how significant an accomplishment is due to the abuser's trivialization of it.

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Verbal Abuse - Discounting

Discounting is a form of verbal abuse that leaves the partner of a verbal abuser feeling as if his/her feelings, thoughts, and experiences are worthless or don't matter, according to Patricia Evans in her boo Verbally Abusive Relationships.

Some statements that may be considered as discounting include:

-You don't know what you are talking about.
-You twist my words around.
-You are trying to start a fight.
-You are making a mountain out of a molehill.
-You cannot take a joke.
-You see everything in the worst possible way.
-You think you know it all.
-You think you're always right.
-No one asked you.
-Your feelings don't matter.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas, everyon! I hope everyone has a blessed Holiday season!

Verbal Abuse - Denial

According to Patricia Evans, denial is another form of verbal abuse. Denial occurs when the abuser outright denies the partner's reality and experiences.

Some examples of statements that deny a partner's experience and/or reality are:
"We never had that conversation."
"That never happened."
"I never said that."
"You're making all of that up."

Although the abuser knows these things have occurred, he or she tells his or her partner they did not in order to make him or her doubt one's experiences and reality.

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Verbal Abuse - Countering

Countering is a form of verbal abuse in which an abuser tries to dominate or control his or her partner and/or his or her partner’s reality, experiences, and/or feelings, according to Patricia Evans.

Evans remarks in her book The Verbally Abusive Relationship that when an abuser constantly counters his or her partner, the partner cannot truly know what the abuser thinks or feels.

Countering is a tactic in which an abuser will tell his or her partner that he or she is wrong – that one’s reality, feelings, perceptions, and thoughts – are wrong.

Here are some examples of countering.

Example 1:

Partner: I think the acting in that movie was done really well.

Abuser: How can you say that? The acting was horrible!

Example 2:

Abuser: That doctor didn’t know what he was talking about. I wonder if he even went to medical school.

Partner: You didn’t think he knew what he was talking about? I actually thought he seemed very intelligent about his subject matter.

Abuser: You’re wrong.

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Brain abnormalities in recovered anorexic individuals

A colleague of mine wrote this article on a recent study of individuals who had recovered from Anorexia Nervosa:
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/465252/anorexia_nervosa_patients_have_different.html

Increase suicide rates

This new report from the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) really reiterates the importance of recognizing signs of suicide and the efforts mental health professionals, teachers, parents, and clergy should be making in suicide prevention.

You can view the report here.

Additionally, you can learn to identify the warning signs of suicide here.

Erasing memories

Scientists Find Drug to Banish Bad Memories

This is very interesting. I wonder in what cases it would actually be better to forget that something happened? Aren't we, as humans, supposed to remember things, even bad ones, so that we can learn from them?

Verbal Abuse Disguised as Jokes

Trigger warning: This post contains details of verbal abusive situations.

Verbal abuse is often disguised by jokes by the perpetrator. These "jokes" are cutting, getting to the partner's core. They often demean the partner's femininity or abilities.

Some examples are:
~Boy, are you easily entertained.
~What else can you expect from a woman?
~You couldn't find your head if it weren't attached.

When/if you tell your partner that you do not think his "jokes" are funny, he may snap at you or tell you that you are too sensitive or that you cannot take a joke.

Do not think there is anything wrong with your sense of humor. These "jokes" are not funny, they are abusive.