In this year's presidential race, the war in Iraq is one of the major platform issues each candidate is speaking on, and ultimately, whoever becomes President of our country is going to have some tough choices to make regarding the war and the men and women who have been and are being deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan.
RAND has conducted a large study of men and women returning from the war. They wanted to determine how many men and women veterans are experiencing PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) and/or major depression and how many are receiving adequate treatment.
The researchers collected information from 1,965 veterans from across the United States. They discovered that half of the veterans reported they had a friend who was either killed or seriously injured in the war. Forty-five percent of participants reported they saw dead or seriously injured non-combatants, and 10% of veterans reported they were injured themselves and spent time in the hospital.
The researchers also discovered the highest rates of major depression and PTSD among Hispanics, women, and those who were enlisted in the military.
Researchers found that 19% of veterans had symptoms of major depression or PTSD. Only 53% of those who had major depression or PTSD sought help for their symptoms, and of those who sought help for their symptoms, only one-half received minimally adequate treatment.
Veterans gave different reasons for not seeking professional help for their symptoms, such as they were worried about the side-effects of medication, they were worried about their friends losing confidence in their abilities, they believed family and/or friends could provide them with more help than a mental health professional, and that they were worried seeking professional help may affect their careers.
The researchers recommend the military create a system that allows military veterans to seek professional help without it affecting their careers, as well as providing veterans with evidence-based treatment strategies to most effectively treat their symptoms.
I believe we, as family members, friends, and co-workers of those who serve in the military, have a responsibility to encourage veterans to seek professional mental health treatment if they experienced a traumatic event in the war and/or if they exhibit signs of depression or PTSD.
To read more on this study, please visit: http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/04/080417112102.htm.
Showing posts with label trauma. Show all posts
Showing posts with label trauma. Show all posts
Friday, April 25, 2008
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Trust in friendships
As I discussed in my last post, trust is an essential and difficult aspect of relationships. Trust can be especially difficult for individuals who have been through abuse or trauma.
I know this because I grew up in an abusive household. It wasn't until I went to college that I began to learn the importance of trust in relationships. Whether you are trying to develop a friendship or romantic relationship with another person, trust is the basis on which a relationship is built.
So, how do you know when or even if you can trust a potential friend or partner?
Through my experiences, relationships, and my own therapeutic work, I have learned a great deal about trust in friendships.
First, it is important to realize that trust is built over time. Trust shouldn't be given all at once. Oftentimes survivors of abuse or trauma may let down their guard too easily, allowing others to cross their boundaries too early in a developing friendship.
Don't disclose all of your personal information, background, and/or secrets at once. In fact, you may want to start with "small talk". When first meeting someone, get to know them by asking them what I call surface questions. Examples of these might include:
What is your favorite...?
Where are you from?
What are you studying / what do you do in your current job?
Do you have any siblings?
And so forth. Getting to know someone gradually will allow you to develop a greater sense of trust over time.
Do things you both enjoy. Spending time together will allow you to develop a solid friendship. When you spend time with one another, you also have the opportunity to learn more about each other. When you see a movie, for instance, the movie may inspire you to talk about mutual interests or to bring up things you have not discussed before such as your opinions, thoughts, feelings, or experiences.
Consistency is another factor in trust in my opinion. If your potential friend agrees to meet you at Starbucks at 10AM and she runs into traffic, causing her to arrive late, does she call to let you know she'll be late? Does she offer an apology or explanation for her lateness?
Likewise, does your potential friend call to cancel ahead of time if she can't make your meeting? Are her actions consistent with her words? If she tells you she really wants to get to know you, but then doesn't call, e-mail, or make plans with you for the next three months, her words and actions are not consistent with one another.
There are times when we are ALL late, unable to cancel ahead of time, break someone's confidence accidentally, or neglect to keep good contact with our friends. However if these things are happening consistently, the person in question may or may not be trustworthy.
I believe trust is earned, built over time. If you have concerns about potential friends, talk to the people you trust (long-time friends, counselors, a pastor, etc) to get their take on the situation. Then, you may want to consider talking with your potential friend about your concerns regarding him or her.
The most important thing to remember is to take relationships slowly; don't let new or potential friends cross all your boundaries initially and listen to your instincts!
I know this because I grew up in an abusive household. It wasn't until I went to college that I began to learn the importance of trust in relationships. Whether you are trying to develop a friendship or romantic relationship with another person, trust is the basis on which a relationship is built.
So, how do you know when or even if you can trust a potential friend or partner?
Through my experiences, relationships, and my own therapeutic work, I have learned a great deal about trust in friendships.
First, it is important to realize that trust is built over time. Trust shouldn't be given all at once. Oftentimes survivors of abuse or trauma may let down their guard too easily, allowing others to cross their boundaries too early in a developing friendship.
Don't disclose all of your personal information, background, and/or secrets at once. In fact, you may want to start with "small talk". When first meeting someone, get to know them by asking them what I call surface questions. Examples of these might include:
What is your favorite...?
Where are you from?
What are you studying / what do you do in your current job?
Do you have any siblings?
And so forth. Getting to know someone gradually will allow you to develop a greater sense of trust over time.
Do things you both enjoy. Spending time together will allow you to develop a solid friendship. When you spend time with one another, you also have the opportunity to learn more about each other. When you see a movie, for instance, the movie may inspire you to talk about mutual interests or to bring up things you have not discussed before such as your opinions, thoughts, feelings, or experiences.
Consistency is another factor in trust in my opinion. If your potential friend agrees to meet you at Starbucks at 10AM and she runs into traffic, causing her to arrive late, does she call to let you know she'll be late? Does she offer an apology or explanation for her lateness?
Likewise, does your potential friend call to cancel ahead of time if she can't make your meeting? Are her actions consistent with her words? If she tells you she really wants to get to know you, but then doesn't call, e-mail, or make plans with you for the next three months, her words and actions are not consistent with one another.
There are times when we are ALL late, unable to cancel ahead of time, break someone's confidence accidentally, or neglect to keep good contact with our friends. However if these things are happening consistently, the person in question may or may not be trustworthy.
I believe trust is earned, built over time. If you have concerns about potential friends, talk to the people you trust (long-time friends, counselors, a pastor, etc) to get their take on the situation. Then, you may want to consider talking with your potential friend about your concerns regarding him or her.
The most important thing to remember is to take relationships slowly; don't let new or potential friends cross all your boundaries initially and listen to your instincts!
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Trust
Trust is one of those abstract concepts everyone seems to hold a different opinion about. It appears to be hard to define in any definite terms. But I'd like to share the insights I've gained about trust through my work as a student social worker.
In my first internship in my master's program in social work, I worked in a safe house and transitional housing unit. Not only had many of these women been abused by their former partners, but they had also been abused by family members and friends, people they thought they could trust.
And yet, here I was asking them to trust me, a total stranger. While I have suffered my own significant traumas, I couldn't ethically blurt this out to all the women in the safe house. While the statement might have shown them that I could relate to them, the statement might also make them warier of trusting me. They might feel as if I were too fragile to help them or that they needed to listen to me rather than my doing my job as their counselor.
Thus, I had to figure out different ways of earning their trust, and I did. I built rapport with the mothers and their children by spending a lot of time with them, eating dinner with them, attending their group sessions with them, talking about how their day was, and about their children. I also got to know each child by spending time with them - playing and talking with them, and just allowing them to be the carefree children they deserved to be.
It took two or three months before one mom, which the staff had a particularly hard time connecting with, began to trust me. We took things in baby steps. I got to know her - her likes and dislikes, what she did during the day, her ambitions, and so forth. Eventually, I let her know that if she ever needed to talk that I was available to help her. Opening the therapeutic door for her was an enormous step, one she wasn't ready to take before my internship ended. However, being able to really connect with this woman showed her that there are people out here to support her. I really think the trust she and I built together was monumental considering all that she had been through, and I was truly amazed at how much she accomplished in the short time we had spent together.
So, what is trust exactly? As I said earlier, trust is really difficult to define, but here is what I believe trust is. Trust is being able to count on someone, to know that you can confide in someone and that that someone won't defy your confidence. Trust is being able to share your innermost throughts, feelings, dreams, and ambitions with someone and that same someone should be able to share theirs with you. When you trust someone, you know that person will not judge you based merely on situational circumstances, but rather, they will look past situations and behaviors to seeing your core being.
I believe trust has to built over a period of time. If you have never been through significant trauma, trust might come more easily to you whereas those who have been abused or traumatized might need to take more time to get to know someone before they begin to place any trust in that person.
I believe trust is earned. And when it is broken, you have to re-earn the trust you lost.
If you're having trouble trusting or struggling with the fact that a friend or family member doesn't trust you, tune in later this week to learn how you can cope with these issues.
In my first internship in my master's program in social work, I worked in a safe house and transitional housing unit. Not only had many of these women been abused by their former partners, but they had also been abused by family members and friends, people they thought they could trust.
And yet, here I was asking them to trust me, a total stranger. While I have suffered my own significant traumas, I couldn't ethically blurt this out to all the women in the safe house. While the statement might have shown them that I could relate to them, the statement might also make them warier of trusting me. They might feel as if I were too fragile to help them or that they needed to listen to me rather than my doing my job as their counselor.
Thus, I had to figure out different ways of earning their trust, and I did. I built rapport with the mothers and their children by spending a lot of time with them, eating dinner with them, attending their group sessions with them, talking about how their day was, and about their children. I also got to know each child by spending time with them - playing and talking with them, and just allowing them to be the carefree children they deserved to be.
It took two or three months before one mom, which the staff had a particularly hard time connecting with, began to trust me. We took things in baby steps. I got to know her - her likes and dislikes, what she did during the day, her ambitions, and so forth. Eventually, I let her know that if she ever needed to talk that I was available to help her. Opening the therapeutic door for her was an enormous step, one she wasn't ready to take before my internship ended. However, being able to really connect with this woman showed her that there are people out here to support her. I really think the trust she and I built together was monumental considering all that she had been through, and I was truly amazed at how much she accomplished in the short time we had spent together.
So, what is trust exactly? As I said earlier, trust is really difficult to define, but here is what I believe trust is. Trust is being able to count on someone, to know that you can confide in someone and that that someone won't defy your confidence. Trust is being able to share your innermost throughts, feelings, dreams, and ambitions with someone and that same someone should be able to share theirs with you. When you trust someone, you know that person will not judge you based merely on situational circumstances, but rather, they will look past situations and behaviors to seeing your core being.
I believe trust has to built over a period of time. If you have never been through significant trauma, trust might come more easily to you whereas those who have been abused or traumatized might need to take more time to get to know someone before they begin to place any trust in that person.
I believe trust is earned. And when it is broken, you have to re-earn the trust you lost.
If you're having trouble trusting or struggling with the fact that a friend or family member doesn't trust you, tune in later this week to learn how you can cope with these issues.
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Coping with trauma anniversaries
As a trauma survivor I know how difficult trauma anniversaries can be. Other people may tell you to “get over it” or just not think about the trauma around the anniversary time, but we, as trauma survivors, know it’s not always that simple. Thus, I have created a list of suggestions that may help you care for yourself during a trauma anniversary as well as the time surrounding it.
Treat yourself to something you love: It is important during tough times that you remind yourself that you deserve good things and that you did not deserve the abuse, rape, or violence you experienced or witnessed. Sometimes it is hard to know what to do for yourself because when you are in this state of mind you feel as if you don’t deserve good things or to treat yourself well. So, here are some suggestions that may help you think of your own!
- Take a hot bath or shower.
- Put on your favorite scented lotion.
- Enjoy something you love to eat or drink. For instance, indulge in a Starbucks coffee, ice cream, chocolate, fruit, yogurt, or whatever you love.
- Wear comfortable clothes.
- Take a walk, run, bike ride, or whatever you enjoy doing.
- Cuddle with your cat or dog.
- Talk with a trusted friend.
- Plan dinner, shopping, a workout, or other activity with someone you enjoy spending time with.
Grounding techniques: Learning grounding techniques will help you if you are experience flashbacks or panic attacks. These techniques focus on the present, so they will bring you back to the present instead of the past.
- Clap your hands together or stomp your feet on the floor.
- Tell yourself you are safe and in the present.
- Touch the things around you and name them aloud or to yourself.
- Name the noises you hear around you or focus on any conversations taking place near you.
Make a safety plan: A safety plan will allow you to stay safe during an anniversary. You might want to notify trusted people of your trauma anniversary and request their support. It is perfectly okay to ask for the support you need. Think about what is helpful for you and tell trusted people so that they can better support you. You might ask trusted people to talk with you, go out to dinner, shop with you, watch a good movie with you, or just be available to listen to you.
If you have a tendency to self-injure, make a list of individuals, hotlines, and hospitals you can call in times of emergencies. Reaching out to someone, whether it is a friend, pastor or priest, family member, counselor, or a trauma related hotline is a healthy way to cope with your feelings.
Remind yourself that it will pass: It is hard to cope with feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, depression, fear, and anger. It’s also difficult to cope with symptoms you may experience from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder such as nightmares, easily startled, flashbacks, and triggers of the trauma. However, reminding yourself that the feelings and symptoms will pass may help ease the anxiety you feel about them.
Set aside time to relax each day: Setting aside time to relax may ease your symptoms and anxiety. What do you enjoy doing that eases your mind? Here are some suggestions to help you get started.
- Read.
- Write in a journal or a letter to a friend.
- Listen to your favorite music.
- Talk with a friend or other loved one.
- Spend time with your cat or dog.
Pray or meditate: Finally, engaging in prayer or meditation may help you through an anniversary time. If you are religious, pray to your Higher Power for the strength and courage you need to get through this difficult time. Read the Bible to find peace and comfort. Go to church for support from the church community.
If you meditate, make sure you set aside some time everyday to do so. I hear meditation is relaxing to the body, mind, and spirit.
Getting through trauma anniversaries is difficult, but you don’t have to do it alone. The suggestions provided here will help you take care of yourself while struggling through the feelings and symptoms associated with traumatic memories anniversaries often bring to the surface.
Treat yourself to something you love: It is important during tough times that you remind yourself that you deserve good things and that you did not deserve the abuse, rape, or violence you experienced or witnessed. Sometimes it is hard to know what to do for yourself because when you are in this state of mind you feel as if you don’t deserve good things or to treat yourself well. So, here are some suggestions that may help you think of your own!
- Take a hot bath or shower.
- Put on your favorite scented lotion.
- Enjoy something you love to eat or drink. For instance, indulge in a Starbucks coffee, ice cream, chocolate, fruit, yogurt, or whatever you love.
- Wear comfortable clothes.
- Take a walk, run, bike ride, or whatever you enjoy doing.
- Cuddle with your cat or dog.
- Talk with a trusted friend.
- Plan dinner, shopping, a workout, or other activity with someone you enjoy spending time with.
Grounding techniques: Learning grounding techniques will help you if you are experience flashbacks or panic attacks. These techniques focus on the present, so they will bring you back to the present instead of the past.
- Clap your hands together or stomp your feet on the floor.
- Tell yourself you are safe and in the present.
- Touch the things around you and name them aloud or to yourself.
- Name the noises you hear around you or focus on any conversations taking place near you.
Make a safety plan: A safety plan will allow you to stay safe during an anniversary. You might want to notify trusted people of your trauma anniversary and request their support. It is perfectly okay to ask for the support you need. Think about what is helpful for you and tell trusted people so that they can better support you. You might ask trusted people to talk with you, go out to dinner, shop with you, watch a good movie with you, or just be available to listen to you.
If you have a tendency to self-injure, make a list of individuals, hotlines, and hospitals you can call in times of emergencies. Reaching out to someone, whether it is a friend, pastor or priest, family member, counselor, or a trauma related hotline is a healthy way to cope with your feelings.
Remind yourself that it will pass: It is hard to cope with feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, depression, fear, and anger. It’s also difficult to cope with symptoms you may experience from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder such as nightmares, easily startled, flashbacks, and triggers of the trauma. However, reminding yourself that the feelings and symptoms will pass may help ease the anxiety you feel about them.
Set aside time to relax each day: Setting aside time to relax may ease your symptoms and anxiety. What do you enjoy doing that eases your mind? Here are some suggestions to help you get started.
- Read.
- Write in a journal or a letter to a friend.
- Listen to your favorite music.
- Talk with a friend or other loved one.
- Spend time with your cat or dog.
Pray or meditate: Finally, engaging in prayer or meditation may help you through an anniversary time. If you are religious, pray to your Higher Power for the strength and courage you need to get through this difficult time. Read the Bible to find peace and comfort. Go to church for support from the church community.
If you meditate, make sure you set aside some time everyday to do so. I hear meditation is relaxing to the body, mind, and spirit.
Getting through trauma anniversaries is difficult, but you don’t have to do it alone. The suggestions provided here will help you take care of yourself while struggling through the feelings and symptoms associated with traumatic memories anniversaries often bring to the surface.
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